Bloody Muscle Bodybuilder In Hell: A... Review?

 

I do not have a particularly high bar for liking a film. I like all kinds of garbage in ways that you wouldn’t believe, in ways that would shock and horrify you. 

If given the opportunity I would bore you to the point of despair talking about borderline unwatchable films I love, and I genuinely think no court in the land would convict my partner if I ended up mysteriously dead with a copy of Gymkata clutched in my hands given the context. The qualitative bar for my recommendation is subterranean, but it has only reached this admirable low through direct, focussed effort on my part - to develop my appreciation of film by conscientiously letting myself feel a whole bunch of shit and to appreciate the directness and honesty of those feelings. 

I really did hold the idea of there being an ideal ‘excellence’ in film that sat beyond anything else, and that pretentious, high-school version of me kind of sucked. He wasn’t fun to be around, and when I wrote about AI filmmaking a couple of weeks ago, I was uncomfortably reminded of my (much) earlier self reflected in some of the attitudes of the creatives involved. Consider this a deeply, deeply needed palate cleanser.  

So! Let’s talk about Bloody Muscle Bodybuilder From Hell!

Our titular bodybuilder Shinji gets a call from his ex-girlfriend Mika asking if he’s still got that one weird ghost photo from outside his father’s place. The two team up, with Mika bringing a spirit medium along to verify the haunting and to hopefully get some incredible photos of a real, no joke haunted house. Hijinks ensue as the trio are haunted, harassed, and occasionally possessed by the vengeful ghost of Shinji’s father’s murdered lover, the eventual exorcism thereof requiring buckets of blood, homemade special effects, and muscles. Shinji and Mika stumble out of the house, battered but alive. The medium is turbo dead, sadly, but hey. The end. 

 

After we witness the initial murder in a flashback, the film opens with Shinji working out surrounded by fitness magazines, completely ignoring his phone. Priorities. 

This film is pretty much The Evil Dead on an even tighter budget, and it absolutely rules. Most Raimi-esque films miss a lot of the humour that is ever-present in his stuff, and this deeply bonkers home-made adaptation completely nails it. 

I’ll not go through too many - you should just watch the film - but at one point the possessed spirit medium is strangling Mika, so Shinji grabs a knife and stabs him through his eye via the back of his head, poking the eye all the way out, and then when he retracts the knife the eye just pops straight back in. 

Also! In a tight confrontation with the medium/ghost monster Shinji grabs a shovel and swings. The creature ducks out of frame, and then the camera cuts back to Shinji acting like the monster has disappeared before it jumps back into frame, scaring him. It’s just so incredibly goofy and well-timed with these lovely little giblets of funny horror.

There’s just so many as well: there’s a great bit with a foot/hand combo that can punch and kick, there’s an improvised bow setup that takes way too long and has way too much complexity involved for the urgency of the scene, there’s so much going on and it’s all so delightfully chaotic in a way that evokes the feeling of the Evil Dead rather than just being The Evil Dead.

 

You won't believe your eyes!

This is a joyous viewing experience. There’s something so incredibly special and unique about a film that seems to have been made mostly to see if they could make it at all, it is genuinely life-affirming. The passion here is visible and deeply infectious, and when I see a film like this I cannot help but feel so much more alive and ready to take on all sorts of challenges. This, The Evil Dead, Clerks, the early seasons of the show Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Bad Taste etc. are such incredible examples of what can happen if you just let go and embrace an imperfect situation to just go make something. Who gives a shit if you can only afford a cheap camera - do it now with what you have and then maybe in the future someone will give you a more expensive one. And hopefully they’ll also give you crew to properly use it. And catering. And real money. 

 

Underrated aspect of the Raimi-verse that this film nails is having really good, relatable losers lmao. 

For me the absolute best thing a film can do is make me feel something wild in a strong, unignorable, or unexpected way; Bloody Muscle Bodybuilder In Hell, even on a rewatch, made me feel like running out of my apartment building, selling my shit, and making a dumb film. A deeply silly Japanese version of The Evil Dead animates me to such a degree that I want to jump back into the past and recapture a creative spirit and a hunger I used to have when I was flatting with my friends in university - and instead of making me feel sad about it, I feel energised! I feel enthused! The weight of time means nothing to well sculpted shoulders, and I wanna go make groovy stuff, baby!

I think there’s a lot of media out there that makes people say “I could have made that”, and leaves them with a deeply unsatisfied (and, indeed, unsatisfiable) feeling of regret for the person that could have been, who could have produced something creative, who could have shared it with the world. This film has such an undeniable energy, such an effortless effervescence, that it completely overwhelms these joyless, rotten comparisons and left me thinking “I want to do something completely different to this, and I want everyone I know in on the fun”. The ability to generate that feeling, that simple, raw enthusiasm for creating cool things, cannot be ignored. The sheer power of Bloody Muscle Bodybuilder In Hell cannot be ignored. What a good fuckin film. 

 

 

 

If you wanna watch Bloody Muscle Bodybuilder In Hell in the OCE region, you can catch it on Shudder. I'll not post a link unless they pay me, which they will never do ha ha... unless?